How Terrible is Local TV News?
August 4, 2009
A lot of people rely on local TV news as a primary source of information. This has always baffled me. I usually can't stop myself from rolling my eyes at the teaser spots the networks air during prime time TV shows. It's been a while, consequently, since I've actually sat and watched an entire episode of the local nighttime news. How bad could it be?
I went ahead and watched the 11:00pm news on one of Cleveland's TV stations (I won't say which, but I think most people would agree that it's the worst of them). So here you have it; a liveblog of yesterday night's local news:
11:01 - Opening intro: Lots of flashy colors and sounds.
11:02 - Top Story: “Otis the Dog” got tasered by Lakewood police and has now been kicked out of the suburb for threatening police! The owner is moving out of town and some people are boycotting the suburb by threatening not to spend any money in Lakewood. Local business owners are concerned about losing customers. A few are interviewed on air. An online petition to boycott Lakewood has been signed by 31 people, some of whom aren’t even from Ohio! A reporter live on the street reiterates everything that has already been blown way out of proportion.
11:03 - A black bear that has been bothering people in the suburbs was shot with rubber bullets. If you see the bear, stay away!
11:04 - A women is mugged and tased at a suburban mall outside of Macy’s. The 911 call is played on the air. The woman is OK. Suspects are still on the loose.
11:04 - GM is not selling enough cars, despite the success of cash for clunkers. They will cut more jobs.
11:05 - Foreclosure filings in Cleveland and the suburbs are still a problem. Hundreds of homes are being sold at auction for huge discounts. Numerous people at the auction are interviewed on the air.
11:06 - Passengers who were injured on an international flight talk about their experience. Photos of the cabin of the plane are shown.
11:07 - Exclusive Story: Showdown at gunpoint outside of a state prison. Confusing explanation of what happened. Tapes from 911 calls are played. A reporter conducts a condescending interview with a police authority.
11:09 - Weather report: mostly cloudy skies, a few light showers in the west part of the state. Temperatures in the mid-70s. Dry forecast for tonight and tomorrow morning; maybe showers in the afternoon. Similar forecast for Akron.
**Commercial Break**
11:15 - The “Foot Fetish Fugitive” strikes again! This creep is wanted for more than a dozen misdemeanors in Portland. He approaches women in the shoe department of Target and asks them to try on shoes. He even licked one victim! Three women are interviewed on the air about their experience with the shoe pervert. An interview with a local police officer is shown on the air. The guy is still on the loose.
11:17 - A fake ATM at the Riviera Casino in Las Vegas has been stealing personal info and not dispensing any money. An unknown number of people have been duped.
11:17 - Report on the custody battle over Michael Jackson's kids. More Michael Jackson gossip…
11:18 - Sarah Palin might be getting divorced after 21 years of marriage to Todd Palin. Both Palins deny the rumors of divorce.
11:18 - Eminem makes a threat at Mariah Carey in one of his new songs. Apparently he is blackmailing her for some reason…
11:19 - Some nonsense about Tiger Woods farting at a golf event. CBS is refusing to say who actually did it.
11:20 - The family of a girl whose iPod exploded claims Apple tried to shut them up.
11:21 -Doctors say kids need more vitamin D. Without it they are at risk for bone and heart disease.
11:21 - A local band has the same name as the local news station. Interviews with band member claim the news inspired them. A reporter stands outside the club where the band is playing. More interviews with so-called “groupies” at the club. The band has recorded two CDs and might go national! I suspect the name of the band might be a mockery of the news station, but they really spin it as something exciting.
**Commercial Break**
11:27 – The Cleveland Cavaliers are fined for leaking their schedule early.
11:27 - Footage of the Browns training camp. The new coach is making the team work hard, unlike the old coach who was a lazy bum.
11:27 - Jets players got in a fight today during practice. Their coach isn’t upset.
11:28 - OJ Simpson might be released from jail.
11:28 - A basketball game between Italy and Canada ends in a bench-clearing brawl. Italy won the game.
**Commercial Break**
11:32 – Weather summary. Seven day forecast.
**End of news**
I guess a good question to ask is: what else happened in the world yesterday that the local news didn't tell us about? The Senate was getting closer to extending Cash for Clunkers. A big earthquake hit California and Mexico. Iran's President was confirmed for another term. Obama reiterated no middle class tax hikes. More frustration with health care reform. The Postal Service considered more cutbacks and Post Office closings. Secretary Clinton left for 7-nation Africa trip. In local news, a drowning at a local water park leaves questions unanswered. The EMS chief is ordering paramedics to cancel vacations. There are many other stories I am surely missing.
Perhaps today wasn't the busiest news day, but there is a whole lot you would have missed if you only checked the local news. But hey, at least we got to hear about "Otis the Dog" and the ferocious suburban black bear and the foot fetish creep out west. If it wasn't for the local news, I probably never would have known...
I went ahead and watched the 11:00pm news on one of Cleveland's TV stations (I won't say which, but I think most people would agree that it's the worst of them). So here you have it; a liveblog of yesterday night's local news:
11:01 - Opening intro: Lots of flashy colors and sounds.
11:02 - Top Story: “Otis the Dog” got tasered by Lakewood police and has now been kicked out of the suburb for threatening police! The owner is moving out of town and some people are boycotting the suburb by threatening not to spend any money in Lakewood. Local business owners are concerned about losing customers. A few are interviewed on air. An online petition to boycott Lakewood has been signed by 31 people, some of whom aren’t even from Ohio! A reporter live on the street reiterates everything that has already been blown way out of proportion.
11:03 - A black bear that has been bothering people in the suburbs was shot with rubber bullets. If you see the bear, stay away!
11:04 - A women is mugged and tased at a suburban mall outside of Macy’s. The 911 call is played on the air. The woman is OK. Suspects are still on the loose.
11:04 - GM is not selling enough cars, despite the success of cash for clunkers. They will cut more jobs.
11:05 - Foreclosure filings in Cleveland and the suburbs are still a problem. Hundreds of homes are being sold at auction for huge discounts. Numerous people at the auction are interviewed on the air.
11:06 - Passengers who were injured on an international flight talk about their experience. Photos of the cabin of the plane are shown.
11:07 - Exclusive Story: Showdown at gunpoint outside of a state prison. Confusing explanation of what happened. Tapes from 911 calls are played. A reporter conducts a condescending interview with a police authority.
11:09 - Weather report: mostly cloudy skies, a few light showers in the west part of the state. Temperatures in the mid-70s. Dry forecast for tonight and tomorrow morning; maybe showers in the afternoon. Similar forecast for Akron.
**Commercial Break**
11:15 - The “Foot Fetish Fugitive” strikes again! This creep is wanted for more than a dozen misdemeanors in Portland. He approaches women in the shoe department of Target and asks them to try on shoes. He even licked one victim! Three women are interviewed on the air about their experience with the shoe pervert. An interview with a local police officer is shown on the air. The guy is still on the loose.
11:17 - A fake ATM at the Riviera Casino in Las Vegas has been stealing personal info and not dispensing any money. An unknown number of people have been duped.
11:17 - Report on the custody battle over Michael Jackson's kids. More Michael Jackson gossip…
11:18 - Sarah Palin might be getting divorced after 21 years of marriage to Todd Palin. Both Palins deny the rumors of divorce.
11:18 - Eminem makes a threat at Mariah Carey in one of his new songs. Apparently he is blackmailing her for some reason…
11:19 - Some nonsense about Tiger Woods farting at a golf event. CBS is refusing to say who actually did it.
11:20 - The family of a girl whose iPod exploded claims Apple tried to shut them up.
11:21 -Doctors say kids need more vitamin D. Without it they are at risk for bone and heart disease.
11:21 - A local band has the same name as the local news station. Interviews with band member claim the news inspired them. A reporter stands outside the club where the band is playing. More interviews with so-called “groupies” at the club. The band has recorded two CDs and might go national! I suspect the name of the band might be a mockery of the news station, but they really spin it as something exciting.
**Commercial Break**
11:27 – The Cleveland Cavaliers are fined for leaking their schedule early.
11:27 - Footage of the Browns training camp. The new coach is making the team work hard, unlike the old coach who was a lazy bum.
11:27 - Jets players got in a fight today during practice. Their coach isn’t upset.
11:28 - OJ Simpson might be released from jail.
11:28 - A basketball game between Italy and Canada ends in a bench-clearing brawl. Italy won the game.
**Commercial Break**
11:32 – Weather summary. Seven day forecast.
**End of news**
I guess a good question to ask is: what else happened in the world yesterday that the local news didn't tell us about? The Senate was getting closer to extending Cash for Clunkers. A big earthquake hit California and Mexico. Iran's President was confirmed for another term. Obama reiterated no middle class tax hikes. More frustration with health care reform. The Postal Service considered more cutbacks and Post Office closings. Secretary Clinton left for 7-nation Africa trip. In local news, a drowning at a local water park leaves questions unanswered. The EMS chief is ordering paramedics to cancel vacations. There are many other stories I am surely missing.
Perhaps today wasn't the busiest news day, but there is a whole lot you would have missed if you only checked the local news. But hey, at least we got to hear about "Otis the Dog" and the ferocious suburban black bear and the foot fetish creep out west. If it wasn't for the local news, I probably never would have known...
Local news is only good for one thing: laughs. I enjoy watching the local news and having a few beers with friends every once in a while.
Top two all-time favorite stories from Columbus.
#1. Gaint Cat Spotted in Granville. (There was actual infrared footage of a normal looking cat.)
#2. A feature about a woman who carried around a lifesize dummy of her husband while he was stationed in Iraq. (It showed her dining with the dummy at a restaurant.)
If you enjoyed those stories, then I think this one might just take the cake. Yes, there is a man in what appears to be a rabbit costume.
Local news is definitely lame, but I don't think covering more national/international news is the solution. That's what the big parent networks are for, except when it has a direct impact on Northeast Ohio. The local affiliates need to be spending more time down at Cleveland city hall, some of the suburban municipalities, and the state house in C-bus. Maybe more depth and less breadth are in order.